“IF YOU WANT TO IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE AT WORK, READ THIS BOOK.”
How do you benefit?
At some point in our careers we all face frustrations at work, whether that is dealing with a demanding manager, receiving tough feedback, or trying to find the elusive work/life balance. Fix Frustrations at Work is thirty two short stories. Each is a real life struggle which ends with a fixed frustration, a difficult boss or a stressed relationship. These five minute stories will improve relationships and help you understand how you impact other people.
Preview Chapter 1: “A REAL LIFE MIRACLE”
An Excerpt from the Book – Rob’s Miracle
The making of a miracle
His voice was animated and energetic―the antithesis of a week earlier when he had told me he’d followed my advice to talk to Angie from legal about her being a bottleneck on the documentation he needed.. My advice hadn’t worked.
I’d suggested he sit down with her,try to work out what he could do better on the documentation, and find out how much lead time she needed. The meeting had been pleasant, but she was still a bottleneck.
I had previously talked Rob out of going to Angie’s boss about her delays because it would send the message to Rob’s boss that he couldn’t handle difficult conversations, and it would damage his relationship with Angie.
I took a different approach and asked Rob what his attitude was towards Angie. Rob, the hockey fan, told me he had her in his penalty box. In his mind he’d tried to reason, even plead, for cooperation and she’d ignored him.
I asked if he’d spent any time getting to know her and he said he had. He knew she was divorced, had a teenage son who was challenging her authority, and had no family nearby to help.
Rob was sounding more relaxed as we talked, so I asked him to tell me some things Angie had done, that helped him or others in the company. He said she was patient when explaining legal documents, and on occasion helped with personal legal concerns.
Stop being judgmental
I told him, “You need an attitude adjustment towards her. You said she’s caught up with the documents you needed for the next two weeks, so you have two weeks where you will not be worried about the documents. Use this time look at what you can do differently, to ponder the concept of judging others and to recognize that even five-year-olds can find fault. You find fault because that is your focus. Stop it.
I was on a roll, “Begin by empathizing with raising a teenage boy alone and the challenges she could be facing and the difficulty of not having family nearby to help. Change your focus to look for and expect to see Angie doing good work and helping others.
“During these two weeks find reasons to thank her in person and commend her in public, provided there is a valid reason. Insincerity is easy to spot. Lastly, concentrate on showing her respect in your voice and body language and show appreciation.”
Results of a miracle
For two weeks Rob did this, which is why I got the phone call and his declaration of the miraculous event. He struggled to contain himself. “I want to explain what is extraordinary. She hears what I say, she understands the impact legal delays have on sales and revenues. The average turnaround time from her on my requests was ten days, now it’s three and she does it with a smile.”
Rob again referenced the definition of miracle, “A highly improbable or extraordinary event that brings very welcome consequences. The miracle within the miracle is my wife commented on how much more positive I was. I’ve stopped keeping score on what she could improve , trusted her and focused on her concern for others..”
- Finding fault is easy. Finding what they do well is better.
- Stop being judgemental, start trusting
- Nagging is not well received, treating Angie like what she could become worked.
- Creating a miracle is adult fun.